30 days of RANDOM #2-b

SOMEONE NEEDS MY HELP!!!!!

Holy shit!

Hey! I’m gonna be rich! I got this email an hour ago, and here seems to be the deal.

This homeboy names Jamil A. Troure is like a HUGE bigwig at the Fidelity Finance & Security Company in Dakar-Senegal. That’s like…..in Africa and shit!

He found a “floating” fund in his piles of paperwork (belonged to some twit that got popped) and it can only be transferred to a foreigner who is next of kin. I’m not black, but fuck it! I’m in!

All we have to do (and this is genius mind you) is forge a few key documents, produce a birth certificate that says I’m from their “burbs” or something, and bing-bam-boom!

TEN MILLION BUCKS!!!!

Here is the clincher: It will only cost me $7,500 to do the whole transfer of funds thing. Now THAT’S A FUCKING DEAL!!

I INSTANTLY sent this email back:

• Dear Mr. Troure, I would like to thank you for this wonderful opportunity! It will end my days of Mac-N-Cheese dinners and Natural Light beers. But, of course, you have no idea what I’m talking about –being from Africa and all. Anyway, this is what I need from you so that we can move forward with this bitch. I require one of those cool wooden war masks with the freaky paint and feathers on it. I saw one once on the Discovery channel, and thought it was uber cool! Next, is it true that there are diamonds just “laying around” near those mines in South Africa? I don’t know if it’s a close walk for you or anything, but I would love a hook-up there as well. Lastly, if it isn’t too much trouble, I would love to see you shove your head straight up your own ass, and yell as loud as you can. If there is an echo, then we got a f’ing deal!

Really……..Mr. Troure. FU