State of My UNION -Part II

(applause)

Thank you! Thank you! I am here today to address the growing problem of Frankworld’s inability to successfully relate to foreign nations. The last few months have proven fruitless in the simple exchange of goods and services with said nations.

Our diplomatic dinner with Sarah-land went completely wrong when you’re elected leader dropped his fork, and was immediately accused of looking up their leader’s skirt.

(gasps)

I say that there are absolutely NO GROUNDS to this, and my people are currently looking into similar accusations that were made during said leader’s dinner with “Owen Wilson.”

Our nation’s brief run-in with Julie-burg’s prime minister –also ended in tragedy. Upon hearing of her love of Bo Bice from American Idol, and how his exit from the show was observed with a national day of mourning by her people, this nation began to re-think the talks. After an hour discussing her views on this matter, your brave leader attempted to contact his secret service for immediate extraction…..to no avail. This nation will no longer have contact with the nation of Julie-burg, and is considering sanctions.

(standing ovation)

Let us not forget our past with Aimee-ziria. After a five year pact of mutual peace, we have now seen the tides of war brewing in this un-balanced region. Our borders have been closed to this nation for some time, but we are now seeking advice from our atomic commission. The rest is classified.

(gasps, but mostly laughter)

Recently Frankworld became aware of the Christy-nation. All seemed well with the mutual sharing of ideas and technology………until………your leader mistook his bottle for intelligence, and sought a summit late on a Sunday night…..while in a stupor. Once again, secret service was out to lunch. Frankworld is currently disallowed to drive through, or fly over Christy-nation.

(flying fruit –rotten ones)

I ask you all to give your leader a moment to address changes to the administration. Steps are being taken as to avoid such events, and save what strength our dollar may have left.

First off, we have established the “Office of Idiotic Behavior” or OIB. Operatives within this office will regulate consumption of ALL types, as well as hide any communication device after the sun goes down. All communication after 10pm is punishable by death.

Next, the “Administration of Social Standing” or ASS will continually oversee your leader’s interaction with others during “governmental” outings. Any hint of absurd or un-leader like conduct will be met with brute force. I have been told that my NEW secret service agents have ordered cattle prods with an 8,000 volt charge. That can take down a raging Texas bull ladies and gentleman.

Lastly, I would like to enact the “No Card Lost Protocol.” As of this date, your leader will not only NOT be allowed to pass out his card, but all current cards printed have been confiscated. Satellite imagery has shown that the furnaces at our national security office have been fired up.

(applause grows to a cheer)

From this day forward, I have informed my cabinet that it will be pot-pies and DVD’s for this leader, and that, as they say, is that.

I am NOT a crook! Peace out.