A Little Test

Yesterday I decided to log up my day. The idea was to BE POSITIVE all day long. The following is the scientific output of said experiment.

7:45am- Nothing’s happened yet. I’m watching birds fly past my window, and a construction worker across the street is scratching his ass crack with something. It could be a pencil. That’s positive…..right?

8:30am- Everyone’s here now, and they are all moving around in a quickened pace. This is also known as work. Work is positive. I will now be positive/work.

9:45am- Our weekly sales meeting just let out. I was asked about a sale I made last week, and was unprepared to talk. I sounded like a choad. I doodled the word “positive” on my note pad……so that counts.

10:00am- I saw the hot secretary from 4 in the elevator again. She said hi to me first! Then, engaged me in……..conversation. I got a (very slight) chubby. That’s all kinds of positive.

11:30am- Finalized two pending sales, cleaned my desk, talked to my son on the phone (blah blah blah DADDY! blah blah blah TOY TRAIN!), hung up on the ex for fun, ate a big burrito. Reasonably positive.

12:00pm- Let’s hear it for NOON BITCH! I’m positive my day is half over!

1:00pm- Client lied to me, putting me in a very compromising position (think head in ass.) I have been asked into the office.

1:15pm- BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE

2:00pm- Smoked two cigarettes in a row. The sun on my face, the wind in my hair, the sounds of sirens heading for a tragic accident somewhere. I currently have mixed feelings. BUT ONE OF THEM IS POSITIVE!

3:20pm- I landed a new liquor client. I’m positive again!

4:20pm- Isn’t 4:20 always positive? Yup.

5:00pm- Spent 20 minutes talking with a friend about LOST/SOPRANOS. I was working! I just…………..peppered it in here and there. Positive.

5:30pm- Usually I work longer, but today I will not. Positive.

5:35pm- A bird shit on my arm.

WHAT THE FUCK SHIT HELL GOD DAMN SHIT IS THAT??????!!!!!!

Positive.

There you have it folks. Relatively positive all day. So FU.