My buddy da' PHONE

I’m in sales, which means that I am a TOTAL whore, but that’s for another day. What is CHEWING at my ass right now is the fact that 50% of what I do is on the phone (the other 50% in person on my knees) –but FUCK….the phone action SUCKS!!
It’s like a game of chess between two blind people. Both want to win, but NEITHER have a clue where the fucking pieces are.
Why am I bitching about this now? Well….here is a winner of a call I just got off of!

Me: Morning! Is the owner in today?
Him: Who?
Me: The owner or manager? They runnin’ around there this morning?
Him: No. Can I take a message?
Me: Nah! I can try later. When are they usually there?
Him: Who?
Me: ………the owner.
Him: Ya mean me?
Me: You? Are you the owner?
Him: I…uh…I mean he isn’t here right now!
Me: But, I thought you just said YOU were the owner.
Him: No -the owner is Greg.
Me: Oh, ok…when does Greg roll in?
Him: Hold on a sec! (cell ringing in background)…..Hello? This is Greg.
----I wait as “Greg….not Greg” talks on his cell---
Him: Ya there?
Me: Yeah, Greg, I am.
Him: Greg isn’t here right now. Can I take a message?

All I can say about the process is……..FUCKING SHOOT ME!!!!!!
F U