Sorry
Sorry people- I have the Turkey Flu! Simply put….I’m bloated, nauseated, and keep farting feathers!
…………strange.
To keep you happy, I will amuse you with the following.
TEN WAYS TO KNOW SANTA HATES YOUR KID!
1. Initiated the “Shithead” list. Still the only one on it.
2. Stocking is used as a V.R.P.U. (versatile reindeer poo unit)
3. Kid wakes up with said stocking on his head.
4. All presents labeled “From: Santa” now have “There is no..” scribbled in pencil just above it.
5. Lump of coal is replaced with note reading “U AIN’T WORTH IT”
6. Letter to the North Pole is returned “Unable to Deliver.”
7. For mentioned letter has been opened, wadded up, refolded, and re-sealed with “Noel” tape.
8. Cookies for Santa scattered in the yard.
9. Dirty foot prints lead straight from the chimney to the backyard……and Fluffy is missing.
10. Note on bedroom door reads “Um……not so much kid!”
THERE! Now….please stop emailing me! I need rest. And a beer.
F U
…………strange.
To keep you happy, I will amuse you with the following.
TEN WAYS TO KNOW SANTA HATES YOUR KID!
1. Initiated the “Shithead” list. Still the only one on it.
2. Stocking is used as a V.R.P.U. (versatile reindeer poo unit)
3. Kid wakes up with said stocking on his head.
4. All presents labeled “From: Santa” now have “There is no..” scribbled in pencil just above it.
5. Lump of coal is replaced with note reading “U AIN’T WORTH IT”
6. Letter to the North Pole is returned “Unable to Deliver.”
7. For mentioned letter has been opened, wadded up, refolded, and re-sealed with “Noel” tape.
8. Cookies for Santa scattered in the yard.
9. Dirty foot prints lead straight from the chimney to the backyard……and Fluffy is missing.
10. Note on bedroom door reads “Um……not so much kid!”
THERE! Now….please stop emailing me! I need rest. And a beer.
F U
posted by Frank Upton at 8:20 AM
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