"POP!"

Ok, so I have not felt well for the past few days (go figure) so I went to the doctor yesterday. Here is the whole thing…..my appendices is swollen. Hmmm…removal? Nope. It seems that we are going to play the “wait and see” game here. Hmmmm.

I was confused, so I had a very frank conversation with the good doctor.

Me: So….now what?

Doc: Medicine.

Me: No yankie yank?

Doc: Not now.

Me: …………….won’t I die or something?

Doc: It’s not really appendicitis. It’s just sort of….off.

Me: Off? Like out to lunch?

Doc: For now. It’s IN FUEGO, and this medicine should help.

Me: ……………..

Doc: Look, if you start to have the symptoms of appendicitis, go straight to the hospital….do not pass go.

Me: Like?

Doc: Nausea, fever, GAS, sweating, low energy, pain in your extremities, severe side pains, clammy hands.

Me: Sounds like a heart attack!

Doc: …………..either way, a hospital would be good at that point.

And that was it, I was left to fend for myself –with a jar of little pills.

Now, I am walking around completely paranoid. Could I “pop” at any moment? Should I put a sign on my shirt that says “If I am buckled on the ground, moaning with pee down my leg, my appendices have burst?” I don’t think my mind is zoned for that kind of activity.

Well….here’s to hoping. “POP!”

FU