BEHOLD the 2 CHESTERS!

BUCKLE IN PEOPLE –this is a long one!
I had a few things to take care of this morning, so like a good little boy, I started early. Little did I know that simply entering the corner stop-n-rob for a pack of smokes that my REAL adventure would begin.
The store was pretty empty at that moment, so I was able to pop right up to the counter- now just second in line. The woman in front of me IMMIDEATLY caught my eye. She was attractive, well put together, and by her dress I could only assume she had just left one of the MILLION churches that run up and down that street. I watched her pull out a hundred dollar bill, and hand it to the clerk. (nice hands)
Now, if I had not taken such notice of this woman, I would not have gotten into the situation that was about to unfold. But I did…….thus we begin.
The guy handed her the change, said thanks, and was already turning his glassy eyed attention to me, when the woman suddenly popped back into the situation.
“Uh….I gave you a hundred, and this is just change for a twenty.”
“No you didn’t.”
Oh, yeah…I did!”
Immediately there was some kind of staring contest of very uncomfortable proportions occurring. Neither of them were talking, just silence while she held up her change with wide eyes.
“I did.”
“No……you gave me a twenty.”
I could hear the voice in my head yelling at me to just stay out of it! Don’t get involved! RUN, there are other stores! But- I was compelled to jump into the battle because I DID see the bill as I gawked at her.
“Um…(looking at his nametag) Chester…I saw the hundred she handed you.” I felt better. I just solved the whole fucking thing. Good work Mr. Upton!
Well…..not so much. Chester whipped his head to me, and in an accusatory tone blurted “No you did NOT sir.” Ohhhh……now it’s fucking ON.
“Chester, I saw you slide it in that little slit under the drawer. Look in there!”
He started fumbling with the register, grumbling to himself. The woman shot me a kind smile, but was obviously rattled. Now I was pissed! Sunday Dress lady was upset over Chester’s stupidity……and the line was beginning to grow behind us.
“There are TWO hundred dollar bills under here.”
“Ok?”
“Well if there was only ONE, I would say you had something there. There’s no telling now.”
A long windy grumble came in stereo from behind us. “Is someone else working right now?” I heard from the fat man holding a twelve pack of Pepsi and Twinkies. This was spinning out of control, and I felt that me and Sunday Dress were loosin!
JUST THEN (here we go) another man stepped up behind Chester. “Is there a problem?”
“Yeah.” I said as I looked at HIS nametag….”Chester?” Ok, WTF??!! TWO Chesters? There are no greater odds in the fucking WORLD!
“Ok, Chester..” They both said “Yes?” …….oh my GOD!
“You (pointing at the new Chester)..THIS Chester here (pointing at old Chester) took a hundred form this lady, and only gave her change for a twenty.”
***SIDE NOTE: People are now leaving the store, cussing under their breath and slamming through the front doors.
“Well,” New Chester said, “The only way to be sure, is to count down the drawer.”
You could SO hear it in his voice that he thought that it would deter us.
Finally, Sunday Dress found her chance, and dove in. “Look, do whatever you HAVE to do to figure out what I gave you, or FIND someone who can take care of this NOW! Frankly I’m getting real sick of this routine from both of you….CHESTERS….what are you brothers or something??!!!”
HOLY SHIT! I looked over to her with a shit eating grin, and she looked back like she couldn’t believe she just did that.
LONG STORY SHORT- she DID get her correct change back, and we left the store. We talked for a while outside, and she told me her name was Shelly. THEN she asked for my number (noooooot BAD Mr. Upton). We traded numbers, and said we would get together for a drink soon.
JUST THEN- Old Chester walked out with a smoke in his hand. He looked at us crossly as he walked by. “I really thought you gave me a twenty lady!”
“Fuck off Chester!” Shelly said bluntly.
Not bad for a girl that just came from church…..not bad.
F U