Happy Rainbow Apple

I am a PC user. I know, some of you out there are saying……“pussy.” There have been several attempts to help me see the light when it comes to the MAC, but at the end of the day it just didn’t take. Some would say I am afraid of change. Others would just say that I’m too old to understand the flashy OS (growing and shrinking icons fucking freak me out.) You could even try to explain my lack of MAC enlightenment to my growing fear of iPods. They are everywhere, and I know that it is only a matter of time before they “soft scroll” their way to the presidency. Major takeover fear here guys!
But…….alas NO. The real reason I have an issue with them is this:

What happened to this guy?

It’s like……….nowhere anymore. It seriously took me a while to even find it. On top of that, there does not seem to be any real acknowledgeable change-over to the new silver classy apple that is used today. It’s like they moved that direction so slowly, that nobody noticed……right? So what’s the deal?

What does Apple have against the happy rainbow anyway? Does this question lie in redundancy? Dare I? Yup….I dare.

Do you have an issue with gay people APPLE??? How about you MAC? With a name like MAC I can only assume. To be sure, the rainbow has long been the calling card of the homosexual revolution. Bumper stickers, hats, flags, t-shirts…..gay people are happy! Is that a fucking problem with you APPLE?!

Maybe the stiff shirts in corporate got wise to this, and suddenly got nervous. Immediately letterheads were switched to “outline apple” or “all black apple.” The rainbow apple was suddenly getting the shaft!

Soon, this began to spread to the business department. Without warning, employees were getting memos with an “all red” apple……or no fucking apple at all! Greg in accounting was like “WTF??!!” The paranoia was spreading. Everyone was beginning to question their identity. “What does the public think?” “Is this a topic of conversation?” “Can a major corporation claim an orientation?” “How do you sign off on that?”

Herald in the design department got a frantic call around 3 a.m. on a Friday. The APPLE needed immediate attention! As he tried to shrug off his on-coming margarita hangover, he said -“Let’s just make the fucker gray.” –and instantly fell back to sleep.

The A.S.D (Apple Strategy Department) was formed that very moment. It’s job –make the happy rainbow Apple disappear….without making it look like you are actively trying to make it………disappear. A delicate matter to say the least. Herald, with his genius “Gray filled Apple” idea was named department head. Thus, the creepingly slow process began.

………………….there you have it. This is all hearsay, but what the hell.

Maybe someone out there has the real scoop. Maybe its just one of those things that happen to an icon after time.

OR, just MAYBE Apple is afraid of “The memory stick goes snuggly into the port.” jokes. The world may never know. Hell, a friend of mine fucking WORKS for Mac….and he is absolutely clueless about the whole thing.

UPDATE: Upon looking up the happy rainbow Apple situation, my friend was shot dead…..then fired. There are no suspects.

FU