Party Anyone? (take2)

As promised, I am gunna give you a rundown of Saturday night’s “festivities” at the costume party.
Also, as expected, I fucking took the easy road and purchased a pair of scrubs- covered them in fake blood- and called it a damn day.
SO- the ETA to said party was to be around 9ish, but I was damned if I was going to show up alone, dressed like a choad, and end up at the bar alone doing the white-man head bob! So, I was going to wait to hear from the girl I was meeting there before hitting the road. Ummm….yeah, we all been there folks!
“I’m in the shower!” – ok
“Getten ready now!” – thought you already were
“Almost ready!” –uh-huh
BUT- it becomes SO worth it when that moment comes you finally get face to face………at like fuckin’ 11:30!!!! I coulda’ wrote an entire entry to PENTHOUSE forum in that time!
I’m getting ahead of myself though. Let’s rewind to the half hour I spent waiting for her at the bar.
THE COSTUMES:
Not even CLOSE to half the amount of people I thought were going to be dressed up….um- WERE! Holy shit! Now I REALLY DO feel like a choad! BUT- there WAS Kinky Friedman (I’m in Texas bitches), Napoleon Dynamite, a dude dressed up like one of the guys from A Clockwork Orange, like 3……no- 4 chicks with stuffed triple-D tits, a few fucks done up as assorted zombies or some shit, and a NAUTY angle in all black.
But- none of that’s the funny part.
THE CONVERSATION:
Kinky thought it would be a good idea to try and talk to one of the big tits. He smiles, she “sort of” does. He begins to talk -while chewing on his cigar like a cock, and she’s not so impressed. THEN- zombie 1 and zombie 2 walk up behind him at the bar. Seems zombie 1 may be boneing big tits, and zombie 2 was his wing man (I think he was boneing the other tits chick, but I could be wrong.) Kinky looked like he had just been cornered by two Democrats! What to do? Well- like all GOOD independents, he graciously bows out of the race. He may still have his pride…..but defiantly no pussy!
THE CHERRY ON TOP:
At this point, mind you it has been all of 30 minutes at the bar; I’m feeling a little over cooked. Two beers, no girl, and my scrubs are starting to itch in the crotch.
BUT- then I felt a “little blow” in my ear. WOW. There she was…..sneaky little shit. She SO checked me out from a far before walking up! Ya know -for weird shit….like 60 pounds I didn’t tell her about, or maybe a second head! (not to say I wasn’t fully expecting a 300 pound black woman- but that’s another story) BUT NO! All was good! I only had one head (well...on top) and she was neither 300 pounds, nor black. NOT BAD MR. UPTON!!
BUT- WHAT WAS SHE:
Gorgeous, blond, and dressed like a biker chick with the ass cut out of her jeans! AND- I only had to wait…..what?....4 hours for it!
Hell, I got the girl right?! TAKE THAT KINKY, YOU LITTLE PUSSY!!!!!!!!
FU