WTF?
Today I was at the desk of my NEW JOB (yes….even I can pull that off from time to time) and I heard the most bizarre thing…..well……ever.
It went a bit like this-
I heard – “My only regret was that I never got to smell his finger before I fell asleep.”
……………………………..WTF??!!
Now, I know that I have had posts about “half conversations” before, but this was just taking that theory too fucking far. What in sam hell could these two women be talking about? Truly, it makes the mind wander.
So, I came up with a story (in my own twisted reality) that could explain this statement.
I couldn’t help it…….it’s in my nature.
**NOTE: I have not posted for a while, so this could (and will) be over the top, and/or offensive. THIS IS A PG-13 post at the fucking minimum.
Let’s call this woman “Gina,” and she was talking to “Sarah” about some fuck stick named “Bob.”
Gina was met Bob one Friday night while she was hanging out with the beautiful people in downtown Dallas. The fact that he was picking his nose at the moment she spied on him at the bar was of no consequence. Why, you may ask, is because of his massive pecks and ass implants. It was the first time he was able to get into jeans since the operation, but she was none the wiser. Bob had just downed four Jager shots, and knew that the fifth meant that he was either going to get laid, or he was going to puke on his new loafers. Either way, he was going to look like money doing it.
Gina walked up next to him, and asked the bartender for another appletini. She then shot him a coy smile.
Bob smiled back, and eloquently blurted out “Gunumpski!”
Gina was quick to answer. “Well hi there Gunumpski, I’m Gina.”
Bob burped. “Hegh Vagina-gh! I’m Bub.”
“oh….I thought your name…*”
“You khave nicsssce tits!”
It was love at first stupidity.
Before long, they were enjoying a nice stumble through upotown –landing them a mere two blocks from the loft that Gina’s father paid to the hilt for her to fuck in nightly.
“I live just up there,” she said softly.”
“No shit! Yeah got a pizzer?!”
Before long, all cloths had been shed, along with Bob’s Fruit of the Loom wife beater t-shirt. All seemed right with the world……..until……
*I bet you think Bob did something at this point. Bumbshit.
GINA suddenly let out a appletini burp –right into Bob’s mouth. The pressure created a tiny little “squeak” that made them both laugh.
Bob promptly…….well…..let’s just say that Gina’s white carpet will never be the same……..or her hair for that matter.
The explosive nature of Bob’s “squeak” retort caused him to fall backwards. As he attempted to catch him self, he reached underhand.
Both being naked at this point – well……it wasn’t a sexy move.
“Any time you pull a stink finger with puke on you face, it isn’t pretty.” -Bob Dole *
*their is no real proof to that statement –but fucking funny…..
With that they both fell to the ground. The last thing that Gina remembered before passing out, was Bob taking a long whiff of his index finger (oh my Christ).
She smiled.
He smiled.
………these are two very fucked up people.
WELCOME TO THE DALLAS NIGHT LIFE.
Gina then passed out in a drunken stuper.....never to smell Bob's...........finger.
……….so there is my story. Next week kids, we will go over the benefits of being blown in a narrow hallway near the Oval Office. NEAT!!!
FU
It went a bit like this-
I heard – “My only regret was that I never got to smell his finger before I fell asleep.”
……………………………..WTF??!!
Now, I know that I have had posts about “half conversations” before, but this was just taking that theory too fucking far. What in sam hell could these two women be talking about? Truly, it makes the mind wander.
So, I came up with a story (in my own twisted reality) that could explain this statement.
I couldn’t help it…….it’s in my nature.
**NOTE: I have not posted for a while, so this could (and will) be over the top, and/or offensive. THIS IS A PG-13 post at the fucking minimum.
Let’s call this woman “Gina,” and she was talking to “Sarah” about some fuck stick named “Bob.”
Gina was met Bob one Friday night while she was hanging out with the beautiful people in downtown Dallas. The fact that he was picking his nose at the moment she spied on him at the bar was of no consequence. Why, you may ask, is because of his massive pecks and ass implants. It was the first time he was able to get into jeans since the operation, but she was none the wiser. Bob had just downed four Jager shots, and knew that the fifth meant that he was either going to get laid, or he was going to puke on his new loafers. Either way, he was going to look like money doing it.
Gina walked up next to him, and asked the bartender for another appletini. She then shot him a coy smile.
Bob smiled back, and eloquently blurted out “Gunumpski!”
Gina was quick to answer. “Well hi there Gunumpski, I’m Gina.”
Bob burped. “Hegh Vagina-gh! I’m Bub.”
“oh….I thought your name…*”
“You khave nicsssce tits!”
It was love at first stupidity.
Before long, they were enjoying a nice stumble through upotown –landing them a mere two blocks from the loft that Gina’s father paid to the hilt for her to fuck in nightly.
“I live just up there,” she said softly.”
“No shit! Yeah got a pizzer?!”
Before long, all cloths had been shed, along with Bob’s Fruit of the Loom wife beater t-shirt. All seemed right with the world……..until……
*I bet you think Bob did something at this point. Bumbshit.
GINA suddenly let out a appletini burp –right into Bob’s mouth. The pressure created a tiny little “squeak” that made them both laugh.
Bob promptly…….well…..let’s just say that Gina’s white carpet will never be the same……..or her hair for that matter.
The explosive nature of Bob’s “squeak” retort caused him to fall backwards. As he attempted to catch him self, he reached underhand.
Both being naked at this point – well……it wasn’t a sexy move.
“Any time you pull a stink finger with puke on you face, it isn’t pretty.” -Bob Dole *
*their is no real proof to that statement –but fucking funny…..
With that they both fell to the ground. The last thing that Gina remembered before passing out, was Bob taking a long whiff of his index finger (oh my Christ).
She smiled.
He smiled.
………these are two very fucked up people.
WELCOME TO THE DALLAS NIGHT LIFE.
Gina then passed out in a drunken stuper.....never to smell Bob's...........finger.
……….so there is my story. Next week kids, we will go over the benefits of being blown in a narrow hallway near the Oval Office. NEAT!!!
FU
posted by Frank Upton at 8:20 PM
1 comments
